To be Mother

I Wonder

A reflection

When I had the chicken pox,

my mom powdered my face

and applied some lipstick;

the powder stopped the itching

and the lip color helped me feel better.

I brought a dog home from the pound once

and tried to keep it a secret from my mom.

She wasn't too happy about that

but three days later, smile and all,

she was helping me pull tics off the new pup.

I used to paint and draw all the time

and my mother was very encouraging.

She would give me boxes galore to decorate

but one time I found some nail polish

and painted the bathroom sink...

During my birth, and even after,
the doctors continued to tell my mom,
"Your daughter will not make it.
You need to let her go; she's going to die,"
predetermining the loss of her first child.

When my mother accepted this and took me home,
she loved me completely despite the circumstances.
During this time, I grew healthier
and the little child she held in her arms
came back to life.

I wonder what Mary did when Jesus got sick --

let Him sleep in? Skip some chores?

I wonder how often Jesus came home saying,

"Look mom! Can we keep him?!"

I wonder what messes little Jesus made for Mary --
food on the floor? Mud in the house?

I wonder what Mary felt when Simeon said,
"And you yourself a sword will pierce."

I wonder how many emotions ran through Mary
when her crucified Son was raised from the dead.

New Life

Jeremiah was born on April 19, 2012 at 5 lbs. 9 oz.  He was a month early, so there were a few things that still needed to be taken care of in the hospital before he could go home.  There was a tube to pump out the liquids that had made their way into his stomach during delivery; he wore an oxygen mask to help him breathe; and then he ended up contracting Jaundice.  Finally, my sister Johnele and her husband Andrew were able to take Jeremiah home on May 3rd.  When I talked to Johnele on the phone she said, "It hasn't quite hit me yet that I'm an adult, married, and have a son; but it's so exciting to know that this is my life now!"  It's hard for me to believe as well that the one who watched me zoom around the house as she crawled behind; who believed in my every word; and who has been my little companion for 22 years is entering into a life of her own as a wife and mother.  It's not surprising, though, that two little girls who did everything together but were complete opposites would be saying "Yes" to the Lord's call at the same time, yet in very different ways.

It is equally not surprising, then, that around the same time my sister is bringing home one of God's creations, I would be doing something similar.  When I was in Lodi, NJ a few weeks ago I attended a celebration in honor of Earth Day. There was a table set up with free things, so of course I had to check it out.  My eyes scanned the scene: there were some magnets, some wild flower seeds, some baby trees... What!  I had to look twice; baby trees?  Yes, miniature Norway Spruce trees.  I had never seen a baby tree before, nor had I ever planted a tree.  "It'll grow anywhere in the Northeast," said the guy standing behind the table who must have noticed my obvious fascination.  "What if I can't plant it for about another week?" I asked him.  "That's fine," he said, "just make sure it gets plenty of sun and that the soil stays moist."  Hmm... I've got a window and some water, I thought to myself, why not?  "I'll take it!" I said, and I walked away with a baby Spruce tree.  One of our council members, Sister Nancy, happened to be in Lodi at the same time.  She saw me walking around with the little tree and told me about one she had planted in Livonia, MI.  "I used to decorate it all the time," she said, "but now it's too tall for me to even reach any of its branches!"  The idea of nurturing something to such growth made me even happier about my choice.  I finally planted the little tree, which I named Joseph after St. Joseph the Worker, and he is now outdoors getting plenty of sun and water.

The wonderful thing about life is its diversity.  Nurturing a child and growing a tree both fall under care for God's creation.  In Jeremiah, Johnele is experiencing her part in the Lord's love for His people and for His creation.  As my tree grows and provides shelter for the Lord's creatures, I too can experience the love of God.  It's all around us!  How often we choose to take part in it determines how well we respond to love.

From the Desk of Sister Heather Marie Deneen...

Petitioning -- I Can't Believe Vows are so Near!

My name is Sister Heather Marie Deneen.  I am a second-year novice with the Felician Sisters and I am guest blogging for Sister Desiré.  The second year is called the apostolic year, and it is designed to help a novice discern where her talents can be best used in the ministries of the congregation. It also gives the novice a real-world community experience outside the novitiate house, where community can be really intense.

I will talk about my apostolic experience briefly. In January, I lived in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, and worked with our mission leader, Vicky. She is in charge of mission integration at Villa St. Francis, an assisted-living facility, and the Child Development Center of St. Joseph, both of which are Felician sponsored ministries.  Vicky is in charge of making sure all employees are trained to uphold our core values of respect and dignity of the human person, compassion, solidarity with the poor, transformation, and justice.  She also makes sure that these values are represented when decisions are being made and is in charge of Heritage Week (Oct. 4-10, the week between St. Francis Day and Blessed Angela Day).  I learned a lot about our corporate ministries from her and the staff of both ministries; it can be very challenging to make sure our values are always upheld in our decisions.  It is important to remind everyone at a Felician ministry they are not just doing a job but cooperating with Christ in the spiritual renewal of the world!

My other experience was in Kingstree, South Carolina at the Felician Center.  The Felician Center provides an after-school program, emergency food, assist with medical, dental, and prescription needs, visits shut-ins, and runs an affordable clothing closet where people can purchase gently used clothing for $2 a bag.  I loved the ministry in Kingstree because I really felt I was serving as Christ served, and I loved the people I served and served with. Kingstree has a wealth of volunteers from many Christian denominations and they are so committed to helping us be Christ’s hands and feet in rural South Carolina. I also loved the unpredictability of the ministries.  One never knows what kind of mood the kids will come from school in or who is going to come through the door to ask for help.

OK, this article is supposed to be about petitioning, so let me briefly describe what it is.  As a woman moves through the different stages of becoming a Felician, before she moves on to the next level of formation, she petitions, or asks her provincial for permission to move on to the next level.  The petitioning ceremony is usually preceded by interviews with the provincial minister and her councilors. They ask questions about how a candidate is growing in love with God, in prayer, in community life, and what her hopes are for ministry.  My interviews went well and I really enjoyed talking with my Sisters. Shortly after, the petitioning ceremony confirms that the woman is fit to move onto the next step of formation, which for me is first vows.

 

My petitioning ceremony for first vows took place at the Immaculate Conception Central Convent in Lodi, New Jersey.  It was a simple ceremony where I humbly asked Sister Christopher, the provincial, to be admitted to first vows.  It started with a short hymn, followed by me asking for permission to make vows.  A series of questions follow, reminding everyone I am freely choosing to answer Christ’s call to intensify my baptismal commitment as a Felician Sister. Afterwards, Sister Christopher gave me a message of encouragement, and I signed paperwork, making it official that I will be making first vows! The sisters who were around attended the ceremony as well as four of the provincial councilors and the entire novitiate house. They all hugged me and promised to pray for me as I start to plan my profession mass, await my first assignment, prepare to move, and spiritually prepare to profess vows.  For such a short ceremony, it really is packed with graces, which I’m sure I will need all that I can get.

So, please pray for me as I prepare for first vows.  I am excited to profess love for my spouse Jesus Christ, and to more fully become a part of the Felician community!  Know of my prayers for all of you too.

3D Ultrasound of My Nephew!

My nephew, Jeremiah Joseph.  That sure is my sister's baby, he's got her cheeks and pouty face already!  I love them!

Now I realize that getting my face pinched as a kid wasn't some form of family torture, it was merely a result of irresistable chubby cheeks.  Poor Jeremiah...

This second photo is the one that reminds me of my sister when she was just a little babe.

When I was younger people would say that reproduction is all about raising kids for God, and that's true, but I think another part of it is the opportunity to reflect on life in its many forms and stages.  Being the oldest and watching both my 22- and 6-year-old sisters grow, and now watching my nephew as he begins his journey already in the womb, I realize that having all this life around me is raising me up toward God as well.  It's an opportunity to watch Him work in the life of another so that I can see how He has worked in my own.  Family, which is simply a small representation of the Body of Christ, gives us all the chance to watch one another, support one another and love one another.  When we can do that at home, we can do it anywhere.

May all our families be blessed and held together in the hands of a tri-fold love which is Father, Son and Holy Spirit!

Happy Easter, happy people :)

1,586 Sisters and Counting

"Your light must shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your heavenly Father"

(Mt. 5:16)

It was St. Joseph's Day and everyone was in good spirits.  The Sisters had an ice cream party, I won a prize for my nephew Jeremiah who has yet to come into the world, and I stayed up late pondering life, reflecting upon the person I am growing into and where God is taking me.  I finally began drifting into the comfort of sleep just past midnight when the quiet of our house was interrupted by a phone call.  Since it was so late I knew someone was in need of prayer.  "Hail Mary, full of grace..." I began, but in my mind I wondered who the call was for.  "I hope it's not for me," I thought, and I continued to pray.  I listened for the sound of footsteps in the hall just to make sure they weren't headed my way.  "Don't knock on my door, please don't knock on my door," I begged, and I sat up in bed to listen more closely.  Then it happened: TAP TAP TAP, "Sister Desire'?  Sister Desire', it's your mom."  The door opened before I even put my hand on the knob and I rushed to the phone.  "Iseverythingok?!" I asked and my mom had to comfort me before even telling me what was going on.  "It's alright," she assured me, "I'm sorry to call so late, but Johnele is in the emergency room because she's having contractions.  She's around 30 weeks, so she is two months early.  I haven't heard much else, but I'll call back if I need to.  Remember, it's Saint Joseph's day and the baby is supposed to be 'Jeremiah Joseph', so make sure to include the patron as you pray for your sister and nephew."  Sister Carlotta, who had answered the phone, stood eagerly in the hallway to see if there was anything I needed.  I shared the news and she assured me of her prayers as we parted to try and go back to bed.  I could hardly sleep, but around 2:00 a.m., as I began to pray a second rosary, I finally let myself rest.
<>

Johnele and Angelina:
The two sisters I started out with <3

In the days following I was able to maintain constant contact with my sister, Johnele.  She kept me updated and the Sisters in the house were eager to hear of any new information I had to share.  "It's wonderful to be surrounded by people who care," I thought to myself, but I still wanted to be there for my sister.  Then, in the midst of my self pity, the Lord reminded me of a Sister whose close relative had died while she was away.  Unable to attend the funeral, a few of the Sisters in the nearby area had offered to attend in her name.  It was such a touching story, and as I thought about it, I realized I could ask some of the Sisters in New Mexico to stop in and see my sister.  Would you believe that the very day I called and asked this favor of them, Johnele received a phone call and a visit from some New Mexico Felicians?  Not only that, but they spread the word and I ended up receiving emails from even more Felicians who assured me of their prayers.



The Felician Franciscan Sisters are 1,586 Sisters worldwide and I can say with pride that it is a joy to be among their members.  The kindness they have shown to me and to those I hold dear tells me that it is possible to live out the heroic love of Christ.

Flowers from the Felicians

I feel as though my life has been especially blessed; like no matter what challenges or difficulties present themselves, I will be well cared for.  I realize, though, that God would have walked with  me no matter where I went in life.  The only reason I am seeing this so clearly now must indicate that I am in the right place -- the place where His light is most visible to me.  How generous and perfect and loving is our God to provide us each with a path that simply leads us closer to Him.


"The path of the just is like shining light that grows in brilliance."
(Prov. 4:18)